Hey guys! Sorry it’s been so long. The reason I haven’t posted in a while is the typical college excuse: essays, finals, and graduation. But I’m off four days a week this summer, so you will be hearing a lot from me (I’ll let you decide if that’s a good or a bad thing). Since it’s the end of the school year, I wanted to go through this year with you, talk about the ups and downs, and figure out how I can improve my habits for next year. Hopefully you guys who have already done the college thing will relate and have tips for me, my fellow freshmen will be encouraged if they didn’t have the year they were hoping for, and those of y’all who are going to college soon will learn from my mistakes.
I had so many big plans for my freshman year that just didn’t happen. I was going to be that girl who had everything together, was successful in all of her classes, and was friends with everyone. If you look at my grades, I look like that highly successful college girl (one B out of 16 classes isn’t bad at all), but a superficial view doesn’t tell the whole story.
I got issues
And everyone who’s been to college had them too. Very early in the year, I realized that I am very bad at waking up. Like high key horrible. And I had a morning class everyday. So, naturally, I fell quickly and madly in love with my skips. Halfway into first semester, I had used all of my allowed skips (1 per credit hour) in every class. Halfway into the second semester, I had used all of my allowed absences (20% of classes).
Several of these skips were because I genuinely did not want to go to class, but most of them were because of newfound mental health issues. This school year was the first time I accepted that I have anxiety, began to see a life coach, and was eventually diagnosed by a psychiatrist. Because of this anxiety, I had trouble sleeping, had trouble getting out of bed, had random panic attacks in the middle of my day, and developed binge-eating disorder. Which I probably would have been able to deal with if it weren’t my first time being self-sufficient.
I don’t tell you guys all of this so you’ll feel sorry for me, but so I can put my blessings in context. My mental state was such a wreck that the past 9 months should have been my rock bottom. Instead, it was the best 9 months of my life.
The blessings come down as the prayers go up
The Lord has blessed me in so many incredible ways this past year, that I honestly don’t even know where to start, but I’m going to try to list a few.
My spiritual life
When I moved into my new dorm on August 19th, my faith was almost nonexistent. From 10th grade to 12th, I had progressed from questioning to doubting to denying the existence of God. I had no idea how profound an effect student-led devotions and sings would have on me. I repented of my sinful life and swore my life back to God during the first devotion of the year, and only got stronger from there. I also began attending the congregation that is now my church family and met amazing friends who would also become my family.
Let’s go girls
My friends were my rock this year. I heard all through high school that I would “find my people” in college, and I had no idea how true that would be. My girls lifted me up spiritually, emotionally, and sometimes physically to help me overcome this year. Not only to overcome, but also to thrive. They supported me in everything, especially my dream of starting a blog.
Finally, the reason you are all reading this: the start-up of my blog! In September, I created my @trustmeitsfashion Insta account. In January, my website. And honestly I had no idea what I was doing; I just knew that I wanted to be myself and to change lives.
I spent time editing pictures, creating captions, and writing posts that I should have spent on homework or sleep— but I wouldn’t go back for the world. This is my avenue to talk about Christ, express myself through clothes and the written word, and create a community of lovely people. This blog has given me purpose.
So yes I had a hard year. But I came out on the other side with spiritual perspective, a gal gang, and my greatest passion: writing for all of you. All in all, it has been a very good year.
So much love,